Saturday, November 12, 2005

Birthday Abduction

Just when you thought you could trust your dearest, closest, most dependable friends... THINK AGAIN!!!



Time: Monday evening of November the 7th (the day before my 26th birthday).
Place: Lakeview Apartments, Number 7342
Plans: Lisa and I make our way to the car in order to go meet Donna somewhere, and have a "nice, little, quiet birthday celebration - just the three of us."

After entering into Lisa's car, we make a quick stop at a local gas station to "fill up" before continuing on our quest to catch up with "D." Well, you would have thought I'd see it coming, but - being the naive and unsuspecting victim that I am - I soon come to find Miss Lisa pulling out a blue scarf, and instructing me with a mischevious grin to "blindfold myself." I was being abducted for my BIRTHDAY!

Fearing for my life, I follow my kidnapper's instructions, and am quickly whisked away on I-64 E to some unforeseen place that seems to take FOREVER to get there. Finally, the car stops, and my EX-friend/NOW-kidnapper, Lisa, leads me out of the vehicle, and into some twisted environment filled with the giggling laughter of three-year-olds and the tempting scent of fresh-baked pizza. When the blind-fold comes off, I'm standing in front of a mutant mouse named "Chuck," and horror races up my spine as this monstrosity begins to SING me Happy Birthday and my treacherous companions attack me with Silly String (I nearly fainted).

Yes, kids: for my 26th birthday, I was given a party at "Chuck E. Cheese's."



After being FORCED to scarf loads of gooey pizza, caramel cake, and play EVERY GAME in the restaurant; I am, again, escorted to some random destination (blindfolded) where they shove a bat in my hand, lead me helplessly into the dark of night, and taunt, laugh, and tease as I swing for HOURS at a paper-machet fish dangling from a tree! (The torture - the TORTURE!)





Well...after picking up the shattered remnants of what used to be my dignity, I was able to clock the embarassing pinata from the Jo-Bowl tree; and we all feasted on his innards (which consisted of M&M's, Andes mints, and Jolly Ranchers).

Never will I forget my night of utter terror on the eve of my 26th birthday. Never will I forget the extreme humiliation endured in the presence of so many people. But most importantly, never will I forget how much FUN it all was, and how intensely blessed I am for God to grant me the friendship of all who participated in that night. I love you all SO MUCH! I HAD A BLAST!!!

(Special thanks goes out to Joey, Jason, Bradley, Chris and Kelly, Keiko, "Sunday School" Chris, and - of course - my two Twin Sisters, Lees and D. You people make my life Salty).

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Man that sounds like it was lots of fun. I'm sorry I wasnt able to be there! Glad it went well ;)

J. C. Ashby said...

It WAS fun, J-man...

Hey - congratulations! I saw the recent picture on your blog... Your girlfriend is lovely, and seems really sweet. You'll have to fill me in on the details later.

BTW, are you going to Don's this afternoon? I'll probably see you there...

Anonymous said...

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!! To force an innocent mouse to eternally sing Happy Birthday to tons of screaming tots (not to mention unsuspecting seminary students. You ought to know better!!! And then, OH THE HUMANITY, you go and senselessly attack and, I cannot hold back my tears, mutilate a defenseless fish!!! That's it, I'M CALLING PETA!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy 26th, Jen! Now I've met you and Donna ... Lisa is next. I wonder how this random meeting will occur?

J. C. Ashby said...

Hey, Christine! I'm glad I finally got to meet you, too.

Good luck tracking Miss Lisa down...she's a sly one, she is - AND TAKING SIX CLASSES! (Pray for her...)

Lisa said...

Yes, Christine, we have yet to meet. I am sure we will providentally meet in the near future...perhaps then you can elaborate a bit on European culture and your experiences there...smile.

In the meantime, I am going to drink a pot of coffee and get back to one of my many papers...

BTW, Jen, great birt-day potty!

Lisa (aka...the "sly one")

Anonymous said...

Ah, birthday humiliation... my favorite. :)

My favorite memory of the night: watching Keiko ride the jet ski game for the first time, screaming, and hanging on for dear life

My second favorite memory of the night: watching Keiko sneak back over the jet ski game later on for a second round

Anonymous said...

Great post. I wish I had time to say and watch the destruction of the pinyahtah.

Sorry you weren't feelin' so good this morning Jen--I skipped church tonight and took a headace nap (my head was killin' me). Hope you get to feeling bettah.

Lisa said...

Love the fish mask photo...smile.

Yep, I posted. In the midst of paper writing...rather than journaling, I jumped over to blogger and, well, a few minutes later...

Anonymous said...

BTW, Jen, an extra little birthday gift for you. Look on your computer's desktop and you will see a new icon called OpenOffice. It is a word processer that is parallel with MS Word and functions the same way...it's a great program and will be perfect for your paper writing needs. You can save it and open it as a Word file on other computers and can open Word documents on it (it is interexchangable).

Enjoy! If you have any questions or need help let me know!

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday from another wo in FL just searching for more wo's on the web. Seems like there is little tribe of us in IN huh?

J. C. Ashby said...

Hey there, Anonymous... :)

Thanks for the B-day greet! Yeah, there is a little cluster of "Wojaks" around the Midwest, and also a bigger cluster in Chicago, IL (the "extended fam"). They're all hilarious people, and my great Aunt Val (who resides in Seattle, WA) actually got into "family history" research a couple years ago.

That woman knows more stuff about where we all came from than you could shake a stick at! :) Hm...makes me wonder if we might be related... Ah, well.

Take care, and thanks for visiting!

Lisa said...

Hey Jenny-ben, check out Virginia's most recent poem about the sea! Her link is on my blog...

In the meantime...you need to post!

Anonymous said...

JEN. POST. NOW.