Who Do I Think I Am?!

Today, I am able to say that I am thankful for the humbling reminders that God grants to us: of how unworthy we are, of how much we need Him, and of the extent of His grace and compassion. How is it that, unfortunately, we always seem to appreciate these reminders only after we recently endure some difficult trial or circumstance?

Such times always give me a deeper understanding of the question I ask myself SO many times: Who do I think I am!?

Since coming here to Louisville, I think that my experiences these past two years have proved my mother a relatively wise and insightful woman: There are things that I will experience in life that are meant to not only fashion me into a more devoted believer, but also to prove a useful counselor for the Lord (my field of study). And if He wills for various circumstances to occur, the purpose they accomplish should be considered as gracious gifts from God's Hands - even though I may not realize it at the time.

Now, as a fleshly sinner, that makes me wonder: What exactly is the Lord going to will for me to endure?!

And then it strikes me what an absolutely selfish question this is: as if my submissiveness and service to God is wholly based upon "what He may or may not do for me in this life." It is God's RIGHT and sovereign choice for me to persevere in whatever He may will, and to walk faithfully by His side - through thick and thin, whether in times of blessing or times of despair and/or destruction. It is I who must persevere, and remain willing and obedient to whatever He may deem appropriate. I am starting to value and appreciate that I must consistently choose to immerse my conciousness in the reality that "God is love"; and thus He is the only One of any of us that might be completely and rightfully trusted. Who am I to question? Who am I to doubt? Who am I to dictate and lay blame when all I ever produce is sin and rebellion, and He redemption and progress?



Absolute submission to God results in complete freedom from myself: that which constantly has proven to hold me back, confuse me, discourage/disillusion me, get in my way, and shove me down. Why do we fear total abandonment from Self when it leads to utmost joy and freedom?

Once again, Lord, you bring something that should be so simple and foundational for us into the sweet light of understanding. Continue to teach us, Lord, the value of truly fearing You, instead of fearing what may happen to us throughout our lives; and for enlightening Your Word to us, as in Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT):

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Beause of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne."

LET'S BE FREE!