As of March 21st, I will have officially been single for a whole year!
This may seem quite trivial for some, but I have to give glory and praise where glory and praise is due.
About one year ago, the Lord finalized a three year relationship between me and my ex-fiance. (For those who are close to me, you know what a long and strange journey that had been). It was definitely one of the more difficult times in my life. All the questions and confusion finally came to a close, and it was at that time God burdened my heart with the necessity of really committing that following year to growing and drawing closer to Him. I came out of that experience having learned so much about all the areas in MY life that demanded complete submission unto God - I had no idea how selfish I really am. Relationships have a bittersweet way of exposing both your constructive, and consequently, your DEstructive attributes.
I am so grateful to the Lord for His faithfulness, longsuffering, wisdom, and sovereignty in my undeserving life. This past year has been the most eventful of my existence. With my father's unexpected passing, God reintroduced Himself in my life in a way I have never experienced - in a way that I NEEDED to know and understand Him. I'm greatly looking forward to seeing what this next year brings. I've learned (the hard way) to NEVER underestimate the plans the Lord has for our lives.
Reflecting back, I've learned SO MUCH in this sweet time that I've had to myself: about what it means to be a humble child of God, a servant, a woman, a friend, and a sister. I am a sinner in DIRE need of God's precious grace every waking moment of my life, and it is this realization that keeps me clinging fast to the Cross that claimed my soul.
As I look forward to seeing my roommate (and one of my closest friends) marry the man of her dreams this summer, I am so content and peaceful living in the Truthful reality that God is in control of my future. Seeing His amazing grace and compassion in the lives of my friends and family reminds me of 1 John 4:18-19:
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love because He first loved us."
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4 comments:
Congratulations! How will you celebrate?
I really appreciate you sharing all these stories with us. Mostly because you set a great example within them...depending on God. Also people can pray for the things you share.
Near the end of my senior year of college I also celebrated a year of being single. I took that year and really focused on building up the guys in my life. They all have grown so much and one of them decided to join me at SBTS. Woo Hoo! Our God is an awesome God!
It seems that God has really made some big changes in your life. It is exciting to know that in the end it is all for good.
Jen - it has been an honor to learn alongside you this past year how desperately we need and depend on the Lord for every breath, every decision, every joy, every heartbreak... every moment. I have so cherished your friendship and encouragement... and admonishment at times when I have needed it. I too look forward to this next year and I am excited about what the Lord is going to do in your life. And thank you for celebrating with me as I am entering into a new season... Bridezilla WILL be vanquished soon!
I do admire and cherish you, dear friend... and thanks for singing to me this morning in the bathroom as we were getting ready. :) I love you, Jenny-wenny-benny-schmenny-poo!!
Jen, I was sort of there to see you go through this past eventful year. I praise God for your testimony of His great love for His children. reading this post was like reading my own life this past year. well, somewhat similar. with all that has taken place (minus the details now) in my life, I, too, have grown more and more aware everyday of my dire need of His grace. I'm constantly struggling to submit to Him, surrender my all to Him, rely on Him and seek His kingdom and righteousness first. I want to give you a hearty "amen" to your praises to our awesome, wonderful God, who is completely wise, sovereign and love.
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